SAG Awards Fashion Redux

Count on the actors, those lovable attention whores, to create their very own televised awards show. Because lord knows if there's someone who doesn't get enough recognition in this business, it's the actors.
But enough with the griping. On with the bitching.

Trends

Too much ta-ta. I saw a lot of ladies using a lot of wardrobe tape. I'm not against body conscious dresses, but I think several looks crossed the line into vulgarity.

Brides R Us. So many beautiful brides - too bad it wasn't a wedding. Some of the white dresses last night were totally lovely, but I'm getting bridal fatigue. Ms. Hatcher's get-up struck me as particularly matrimonial.

When queens collide. I only saw two ladies working the Cleopatra look last night, but awards show fashion trends are like roaches - you may only see one or two, but you know there are at least a dozen more waiting in the wings, and they will pop out when you least expect them. Egyptian revival at the Oscars?

Orange crush. Several ladies wore delightful soft shades of orange, but some looks were more succssful than others. Ms. Linney's perfectly fitted, classic one-shouldered dress handily beats Ms. Longoria's promular confection of ruffles and sparkles.

Joys and Concerns

Joys

Taraji P. Henson

Lurve the whole package. That dress had no margin for error, nor did Ms. Henson require one.

Viola Davis

Perfect color choice on the dress. Her eyeshadow looked really, really blue in closeups, though.

Julie Benz

Love her hair and makeup, lurve the dress and shoes. Vast improvement over the Golden Globes.

Evan Rachel Wood

So glad she ditched Marilyn Manson. Her taste in clothing, unlike her taste in men, is almost always impeccable. Love the cut, love the fit, love the color. But what's up with that Nazi eagle perched on her shoulder?

Concerns

The Karen Carpenter Award for the Celebrity Most in Need of a Milkshake goes to Mrs. Cruise.

Alec Baldwin

I was relieved to find out that Mr. Baldwin's date was his daughter, not just some random starstruck floozy young enough to be his daughter. But my relief was replaced by disappointment as I realized what a slutterific dress she was wearing. My mother would've died before she let my 13-year-old ass out of the house in that.

Christina Hendricks

Ms. Hendricks is divine, in no small part because she shares a name with an excellent gin. But that bold red is washing her out. Also, the ruffles are a little too fussy, putting me in mind of a 19th century wild west bordello.

Katrina Bowden

This dress is the creation of one of my favorite Project Runway alums, Christian Siriano. Although I am a fan of Mr. Siriano, I'm not the hugest fan of this outfit. I have a deep-seated prejudice against super strappy sandals, and the bunching at the bottom of the dress creates an unfortunate diaper-like effect from certain angles.

Holly Hunter

Yikes. The fit and the cut are great, and the fabric is luscious and beautiful up close, but the color is killing me. You knew the carpet was going to be red, dear. Clashtacular.

Emily Blunt

Ms. Blunt is darling, and may even be divine some day, but I'm not a fan of this look. Although her makeup is lovely, her hair is too severe. Also, I didn't find the dress very flattering - in a dress this form fitting, your tummy better be so flat it's almost concave.

Marisa Tomei

I think the color is unfortunate and the flounces are too... well... flouncy. The color of the dress, plus lackluster makeup efforts, have made her look pale and tired.

The Bjork Award (SAG Edition) goes to:

Nicollette Sheridan

This look comes from the Roberto Cavalli 2009 resort collection. Are you surprised? It looks like one of those regrettable batik sarongs you buy on vacation and then never, ever wear again because as the daquiris wear off, you gradually realize it cannot be trotted out in polite company. But hey, the point of appearing on the red carpet is to be photographed, and I'm sure Ms. Sheridan accomplished that.