In 1963, Helen Andelin wrote a book called Fascinating Womanhood, which captured the tenor of the anti-feminist backlash. Anti-feminist texts, such as Fascinating Womanhood, The Surrendered Wife, and Created to Be His Helpmeet, are pretty much what you'd expect them to be. They promote traditional gender roles and divisions of labor, and generally abhor the idea of a woman taking a leadership role in her relationships. The general message is "be delightful and compliant, and your husband will stop being a dick to you."
Despite the knee-jerk reaction of anger and disgust most people now have toward these books, they do have valuable things to say about what we lost as we moved closer to gender equality. Many, if not most women do want to find a life partner who will cherish, support and protect them, and maybe even open a door or two, and many of these women find themselves emotionally crushed under cultural pressure to be strong, independent women who can be all things at all times. But I think most of us agree that taking responsibility for your own happiness by assuming the burdens of a self-actualized person is infinitely better than retreating into fear, dependence, and submission. Ms. Andelin, of course, would disagree.
To give you a feel for her book, without actually having to read it, here is a selection of terms from the index of Fascinating Womanhood. This list also works as something of a nifty poem.
Adaptable, good follower
Advice, how to give feminine
Anger, how to overcome
Angry, when husband is
Ask for things, how to
Ask, what not to ask for
Ask, when not to ask
Childlike joy
Childlike trust
Confusion of financial roles
Conversation, feminine
Convince, men don't like
Diligent, homemaking
Domestic duties, happiness
Drudgery, accept
Emotional health, by service
Fearfulness, feminine
Feminine arts, skills
Feminine, dependent women
Feminine touches
Foods to avoid
Fundamentals, homemaking
Hands, feminine manner
Happiness in homemaking
Harm in women working
Hints, men don't like
Honor his position
Housekeeping, a matter of character
How to ask for things
How to be perfect follower
How to express admiration
King, treat him like
Laugh, feminine manner
Love whom we serve
Meal preparation
Obedient to husband
Priorities, homemaking
Push and persuasion, not best
Reduce demands
Smile, when not to
Submissiveness, feminine
Suggestions, men don't like
Support his plans, decisions
Sweet submission
Tenderness, feminine
Voice, feminine manner
Walk, feminine manner
Weakness, feminine
Weight control
Youthful appearance
Youthful manner
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It's funny that we've spent millenia walking on egg shells to protect men's emotional needs (like wanting to control every aspect of every situation at all times) but women are the ones we call 'emotional'. I mean, my grandmother risks her life on a weekly basis so that my blind, deaf grandfather can be the one to drive even though she can see and hear perfectly.
ReplyDeleteIt's absurd. I'm wholly unwilling to do that type of thing (and so is my mother) so I'm always blown away by the shit some women will put up with. That book is kindling!
That is the creepiest, squickiest thing I have ever read. Where in the hell did you find that?
ReplyDeleteVery Funny for changing voice feminine of women.
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