Mexican "Lasagne"

I was trying to figure out a way to use some stale tortilla chips the other day and I came up with this recipe that my fiance totally loved. I think he could've eaten the whole pan himself.

Mexican Casserole

-Place a layer of tortilla chips in the bottom of a 9"x13" pan and smash them down to create a thin, flat layer that completely covers the pan.

-Mix together a 16 oz. can of refried beans, a 16 oz. can of diced tomatoes, and any or all of the following:

a small can of green chiles (drained)

a small can of corn (drained)

a small can of sliced black olives (drained)

1 sauteed onion

Pour this mixture over the tortilla chip layer.

-Over the bean layer, spread 1 pound of your favorite pre-cooked taco meat. For our casserole, I used ground turkey prepared with Lawry's taco spice, but you could use beef or chicken with any taco spice you like.

-Over the meat layer, sprinkle a layer of shredded cheese. I used cheddar, but you could use pepper jack, regular jack, or any combination.

-Bake the casserole in a 350 degree oven for 20-30 minutes, or until cheese is bubbly.

-Serve as-is or top with sour cream and/or guacamole.

Old Country Cooking

One of the foods my fiance grew up with and still really enjoys is the traditional Czech bread dumpling. I've been experimenting with different recipes to make dumplings just like the ones he remembers because, you know, I love him and stuff. And it turns out they're not as difficult as they sound. Here's a recipe, adapted from various sources, that comes pretty darn close to the dumplings my fiance enjoyed as a kid:

Czech Bread Dumplings (Houskove Knedliky)

2 eggs, beaten

1/2 cup milk

2 cups flour

2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

2 slices French or country white bread, diced

First, a couple of notes about the ingredients. The best flour to use is Wondra, a highly refined flour made specially for sauces. It comes in a blue canister and you can find it in your grocery store's baking aisle. The bread in this recipe needs to be dry. If you live in a dry climate, you can leave it out for several days and let it go stale. If not, you can toast it, but just until dry (not browned).

-Mix the beaten eggs and milk, and set aside.

-Sift together the flour, baking powder, and salt.

-Put the dry ingredients in a large bowl and form a well in the middle.

-Pour the egg mixture into the well and gently stir until just combined. The dough will be very sticky.

-Work the diced bread into the dough with floured hands.

-Shape the dough into two equal loaves.

-Cover the loaves with a large bowl and let them rest for 30 minutes.

-Meanwhile, set a large pot of water to boiling. The pot needs to be very wide, as the loaves must have room to boil without touching.

-After the 30 minutes have passed, gently reshape the loaves with floured hands and drop them in the boiling water. Boil for 12 minutes, then gently turn them over and boil for 12 more minutes.

-Remove loaves and prick them with a fork to release steam, then use a piece of thread to cut slices about an inch thick.

These dumplings are wonderful with a pork or beef roast and do a delightful job of soaking up pan sauce. I've also indulged my southern side by serving them with sausage gravy.

Christian Lacroix Fall 2009

In the past, I've accused Christian Lacroix of being... well... batshit insane. His career has been more about designing costumes than clothes. In fact, I believe I've described his clientele as "circus people" and "crazy ladies." Recall Edina Monsoon screaming "Lacroix, sweetie! Lacroix!" And I must admit, I felt more than a smidgen of schadenfreude when I heard he was filing for bankruptcy. After all, his house never turned a profit. Ever. How long can you expect to light money on fire before you finally have to give up?

And yet, the story of his final collection is bittersweet and strangely heartwarming. Seamstresses, shoemakers, and other artisans donated their time and skills to help the bankrupt Mr. Lacroix finish his collection. The models were paid the legal minimum of 50 Euros. And the results, I must say, are pretty fucking fabulous.

This is the most connected I've ever felt to a Lacroix collection. With his resources drastically reduced, he's created pieces that are subdued, but sublime. When a great artist is faced with constraints, sometimes the fundamental nature of his talent is even more clearly revealed.

TMI and PSA

This blog post pertains to my lady parts, and not in a fun way. You've been forewarned.

Recently I had an abnormal pap smear, and my OB/GYN decided a few areas on my cervix needed to be biopsied. A biopsy of the whatnot is not fun, but it could not be avoided. The results indicated that I have a precancerous lesion on my cervix. In a few weeks, my OB/GYN will remove the affected areas in an in-office procedure with local anesthetic. Needles, cutting, and cauterizing will happen in places I'd rather not contemplate. It won't be fun, but it's infinitely better than having cancer in the vadge. After the procedure, my pap smears will most likely be normal and I'll be just fine.

Now here's the PSA part. If this lesion hadn't been caught at this stage, it could've developed into cancer. Ladies, if it's been more than a year since you've had a pap smear, get one NOW. Call your doctor tomorrow morning and schedule one.

Furthermore, if you haven't gotten the HPV vaccine, get it NOW. If you have daughters, make sure they get it when they reach the appropriate age. The vast majority of cervical cancers are caused by high risk strains of HPV. Getting the vaccine is a no-brainer and it's absolutely worth it if it helps you avoid the pain, anxiety, and inconvenience of the things I'm going through this month.

Tonys Fashion Redux 2009

The Tony Awards are adorable. At last, the high school drama geeks have made good, and now they get to dress up in couture and revel in their passion for stagecraft. I must say, I was quite pleased with most of the sartorial choices this year.

Joys

Anne Hathaway. She is looking damn fierce in Oscar de la Renta Fall 2009. One more spot-on ensemble like this and I may have to start referring to her as "La Hathaway."

Mrs. Gandolfini. Very lurvely.

Allison Janney. I'm not real happy about the hair, but I love her adventurous color choice. Also, the cut of this dress makes her body look smoking hot.

Jessica Lange. This is a less successful iteration of Ms. Janney's look, but still, I liked it. Here's hoping that's not a tattoo on her left wrist.

Hope Davis. The shoes are kind of promular, but I think the dress is super fun and flattering.

Nancy La Scala. I was torn about that drapey neck piece, but on balance I think this look is damn fierce.

Concerns

Stockard Channing. I love Ms. Channing, but this little number is frump-a-dump. Her makeup is too severe and it ages her. Furthermore, she's a tiny, petite little person and this dress makes her look even shorter. How about a perky Dior silhouette and shawl collar next time?

Edie Falco. I'm kind of torn about this one. I love her hair and makeup, and I love the dress in theory, but I think the crumpled fabric is most unforgiving on her figure. I'm guessing this was a stunner on the runway model, but just didn't translate to someone with a BMI above the starvation range.

Chandra Wilson. Empire waist is not for full-figured ladies. Pseurry. Although she looks very pretty, poor Ms. Wilson should not even have been permitted to try this dress on.

Samantha Mathis. Architectural dresses must be flawlessly fitted, and this one was not. Also, she comes across as just a little underdressed, no?

Bebe Neuwirth. Frump-a-dump. The length and cut are super boring. I know she has insane legs - where are they? Also, HATE the clown shoes.

Haydn Gwynne. Her pale skin is cornea searing, especially against that bright purple.

Dolly Parton. Speaking of cornea searing... But this is Ms. Parton's schtick and I'd expect no less from her. I say that in the most loving way possible.

And we have our first ever male recipient of the Bjork Award!!!

Paul McGill. Shiny green leprechaun suit. Enough said.

Things I Lurve - Cinespia

Summer in Los Angeles means watching movies in the cemetery.  No, really.

Saturday nights all summer long, Cinespia hosts classic films in the Hollywood Forever cemetery.  People bring blankets and cusions and sit on a huge grassy lawn while classic movie favorites are projected onto the side of a mausoleum.  Upcoming films include Funny Face and The Graduate.  You can bring your own picnic dinner and booze.  Admission is $10.  Come early to find decent parking.

www.cinespia.org

Resort 2010

Ah, it's resort season.  The resort shows were originally meant for rich people who were looking to buy chic, casual clothing that traveled well to take on their summer trips.  It's become a delightful interlude of ready-to-wearishness tucked between the fall and spring shows.  Resort wear is typically just as it sounds - casual, comfortable, colorful.  Let's begin with a couple of ladies whose resort collections are, in my opinion, a big improvement over their fall collections.

Diane von Furstenberg

DVF is known for her fabulous taste in prints, and I believe her 2010 Resort collection is a return to form:

With some notable exceptions:

Some of my favorites from this collection included a sassy cocktail dress:

And a delightful pool cover-up:

Carolina Herrera

Ms. Herrera's fall collection was a very stiff, heavy, drab affair.  There's much more levity in the resort items, and these are some of my special favorites:

While I've very fond of the orange, I think it's better suited to darker skinned ladies, such as Sessilee Lopez, who is swiftly becoming one of my favorite models.

The less successful looks in the collection were, in my opinion, the ones that veered into the geriatric.  I hate the shiny fabric on the left, and as for the look on the right, it's a little too "brunch at the club."  Furthermore, I think lace, like facial hair, is almost always a bad idea.

I'm back.

They thought they had me down.  They thought they had me beat.  They thought Los Angeles had eaten me alive and I'd never be seen again.

Well.

How wrong they were.

I've had my own private dark night of the soul, ducklings.  Oh yes.  Especially if by "dark" you mean "thorough," by "night" you mean "reappraisal" and by "soul" you mean "finances."  But I have risen resplendent like a phoenix from the ashes, like Liza Minelli from the sordid detritus of her four gruesome marriages, like Robert Downey Jr.'s career from a needle-infested rat nest in Pershing Square, like Scarlett O'Hara from the smouldering ruin of Tara, clutching a cut crystal tumbler and swearing, as god is my witness, I will never buy cheap gin again, before finally breaking into a show-stopping rendition of "Don't Rain on My Parade."

Don't rain on it, motherfuckers.

There will be more fashion, more luxury bargains, more things I lurve, more joys and concerns, more bitchery than ever before.  Because if there isn't, my friends, then the communists, the terrorists, and the joyless, dour, uptight, self-righteous vegans have won.

Luxury Bargains

Through the year of 2009, Patina group has lifted their corkage fees in all restaurants except Patina downtown.  That includes Cafe Pinot, Market Cafe, eat on sunset, Nick & Stef's, and numerous other restaurants.  Bringing your own wine to a top notch dinner makes Patina group a luxury bargain.

Grilled Cheese

Los Angeles has had a long, torrid love affair with comfort foods.  Waves of comfort food trends have raged across the city for years - from mac & cheese to cupcakes to pot roast.  My theory on this is that it's such a professionally and aesthetically demanding place that people fall back on these wonderful childhood foods as a means of comfort.  We love comfort food here, we fetishize it - because we need it.

One of our best beloved comfort foods is grilled cheese, and since April is National Grilled Cheese Month, it's an especially good time to present some of the places around town where you can enjoy the fat, the carbs, and the delightful buttery crunch of a perfect grilled cheese.

Clementine's in Century City

During the month of April, Clementine's will have a special Grilled Cheese Month Menu featuring fancy schmancy items like grilled camembert with mustard greens and mushrooms.

The 7th Annual Grilled Cheese Invitational

On April 25th from noon to 6 p.m., grilled cheese freaks will gather in Los Angeles State Historic Park to test their grill skills as they compete in the categories of traditional cheese only sammies, sammies with additional ingredients, and dessert sammies.  Admission is $5.

Campanile on La Brea

Every Thursday, Campanile hosts its venerable Grilled Cheese Night.  Arrive early and be prepared to wait.

Patinette at MOCA

Patinette lets you select your own bread, cheese, sauce, and extras to create your very own customized grilled cheese.

Rush Street in Culver City

This Culver City newcomer offers a $6 lunch special of grilled cheese and tomato soup.

Ivan Kane's Cafe Was in Hollywood

On Mondays, Cafe Was offers brioche grilled cheese with truffle fries for $10.

Please share your own grilled cheese tips and stories in the comments!

Funemployment

Ducklings!  So sorry for my lengthy absence.  I had a very good excuse. Or rather, a very bad good excuse.  As some of you know, right after I landed my part time teaching job, I lost my full time day job.  The economic turndown has hit my line of business especially hard and I've joined the ever expanding ranks of the under/unemployed.  I'm grateful for my remaining teaching job, but one night a week just isn't going to cut it.  So I've been super busy looking for another full time job, with very little success.

When you're unemployed, it goes without saying that Job #1 is finding another job.  You know, drawing on your contacts, pounding the pavement, scouring the internets, sending out the old resume, etc., etc.  But there will reach a point where you will become saturated with this activity.  It's scary and depressing and otherwise generally emotionally taxing to do the job search thing in this climate, especially when people in your particular sector of the industry are being sought after with the same zeal as stale baked goods.  Sometimes you need a little break.  Sometimes you need a little funemployment.

In this new semi-regular feature of The Daily Lalee, I will present you with ideas for recreation and entertainment that cost $10 or less.  First up:

 

The Getty Center

 

The Getty Center is free.  That's right - free.  You don't need to pay for admission, and you can spend all day traipsing around beautiful art, architecture, and gardens with a spectacular sea view.  Parking is $10, but Metro Rapid Line 761 will drop you off right outside the main gate.  You can bring your own lunch and enjoy a thrifty little picnic in any of the Getty's public seating areas.

Thank you, Mr. J. Paul Getty, wherever you are.  Knowing that I get to enjoy your museum for free makes me slightly less resentful of your outlandish economic success.  I am, after all, alive and able to enjoy lovely art, despite my regrettable unemployment (or arguably because of it!).  You, on the other hand, are dead and technically no longer rich.  Neener neener.

Oops.

When you're writing a letter to the police to refute claims of illegal drug use in your nightclub, it's probably best to use the stationery that's not covered in cocaine.

Speaking of being fruitful and multiplying...

I've been disturbed recently by what I perceive as radical antifeminist undercurrents in our culture. Antifeminist books like "The Surrendered Wife" are gaining a toehold in the collective consciousness, and reality shows featuring human overbreeding set against put-upon breadwinning husbands and housewife drudges are becoming increasingly popular. Take for instance, "Jon and Kate Plus 8," "18 Kids and Counting," and "Kids by the Dozen." The freak show aspect of these programs is undeniable. Kate presents us with a frank discussion of the revoltingly expansive slack pouch of her formerly overpregnant stomach (now tightened up with donated plastic surgery, thank you very much).

Watching the parents on these shows marshalling their kindermobs through simple tasks from breakfast to bathing to park outings provokes a blend of pity, awe and horror in me, not unlike what I feel when confronted with terrible congenital physical abnormalities.

Sideshow aspect aside, what these families often don't mention is that most of them are radical fundamentalist Christians who believe they are acceding to god's will by whelping litters of children. One of the moms on "Kids by the Dozen" referred to a gift of hand-me-down clothes as a token of appreciation from god for obeying him and raising so many of his warriors. That's right - his "warriors."

Radical fundamentalist Christians belonging to the "Quiverful" movement believe that Christian couples should engage in no family planning whatsoever, but should instead submit themselves to having as many children as god sees fit. Among the reasons for this is the notion that the more Christians they can raise, the more they can put into positions of power, where they can shape the policies that effect the lives of everyone in this country. In other words, they want a theocracy, and they will create as many new radicals as they can in the effort.

So before you dismiss these superbreeders with a self satisfied chuckle and change the channel, consider the fact that they think they're raising cultural warriors, and the people they're raised to fight against may be you.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/189763?from=rss

Luxury Bargains: Tasting Menus Part I

With the economy in the crapper, Los Angeles restaurants are coming up with new, creative ways to draw customers. One of these is the value priced tasting menu. Some of the best restaurants in town are coming up with tantalizing tasting menus at very reasonable prices. First up, AMMO.

AMMO's "Simple Supper" tasting menu is $30 and includes your choice of soup or salad plus entree (pasta, salmon or chicken) and a build-your-own sundae with the very highly regarded house made ice cream.

http://www.ammocafe.com/
1155 N Highland AveLos Angeles, CA 90038
(323) 871-2666

Nicely done, your holiness.

From the outrage files: Pope Benedict XVI has finally figured out what's hampering us in our efforts to eradicate AIDS in Africa. It's the distribution of condoms. That's right: promoting safe sex is contributing to the spread of AIDS.

Many devoutly religious people seem to take the view that if we don't talk about sex, or better yet, if we portray it as dirty and shameful, people will stop doing it. But the cold fact is that abstinence only methods do not work. People who make purity pledges get knocked up at about the same rate as their impure colleagues. God has commanded us to be fruitful and multiply, and damned if we aren't good at it.

It's one thing to object to the distribution of condoms in suburban American schools, but it's quite another to object to it in places where people are dying in droves every day from AIDS. In fact, I think the spread of religion has been more detrimental to the AIDS eradication effort than the spread of condoms. Specifically, I'd like to call out religious medical missions that will help you once you have AIDS, but will not provide you with the education or tools necessary to avoid getting AIDS in the first place.

It's bad enough not to give people the means to avoid dying of a horrible disease, but to criticize those who are providing that service is beyond comprehension.

America may have the greatest amount of white trash...

...but England's white trash is definitely the trashiest.

Former Project Runway contestant jailed for assault.

Guess who.
Guess how gleeful I am.

The Daily Lalee might get slightly less daily...

In addition to my day job, I've just accepted a night job at a local state university, so my time is going to get tighter and tighter as I have to work on lesson plans, grade papers, etc. I hope you'll be patient with me! I will continue to post material as often as I can.

Losing weight - with Jesus!

I was once told by a Mormon man that there's a serious problem in their church with obesity in women, especially older, unmarried women.  Part of the problem arises from the intense emphasis the church places on marriage.  In a Mormon wedding, the covenant doesn't last "til death do you part," but "for time and eternity."  I don't think it's going too far to say that devout Mormon women grow up believing that the sole purpose of their life on this earth is to get married in a temple wedding and raise a family.  Compound this with the fact that, as in most religions, there are more devout Mormon women than devout Mormon men and you've got a problem.  There's a population of older, unmarried Mormon women who feel like they've essentially failed at their life's purpose.

These older single ladies can't have extramarital sex, can't smoke, can't drink, can't indulge in recreational drug use (although the rate of prescription anti-depressant use in Utah is among the highest in the nation), but they can indulge in food, and they often do.  Mormon culture is permeated by good cooks and good food, especially sweets.  It places an emphasis on clean living, but it also places an emphasis on baking.  I think this concept is captured by a speech I once witnessed at a Mormon rehearsal dinner.  One of the female family members gave the young couple a Kitchenaid mixer and explained how "a mixer is a fixer" for all the problems of the family, then basically went on to explain how each problem could be solved by the appropriate food.  Kid comes home from school upset?  Bake cookies.  Husband stressed out?  Bake a pie.

I was also raised in the "food is love" tradition, so I get it.  I believe nourishing yourself, occasionally indulging yourself, and most importantly, forgiving yourself for that indulgence, is an essential aspect of self love.  I get how a depressed woman who felt like she'd missed out on the most fulfilling part of life would turn to seven layer bars and rocky road brownies.  But without moderation, and without the self-forgiveness, I can see how you'd have a massive backlog of toxic guilt.  And it's not just the Mormon church.  Extrapolate this trend out to any religious organization that emphasizes marriage and restricts pleasure and you've got a lot of sad fat single people.

How do you reach these people?  Do you tell them that being thin and healthy is a pleasure in and of itself that they deserve to enjoy?  Nope.  You tell them they need to get thin for Jesus.  Programs like Weigh Down, Thin for Him and What Would Jesus Eat are tailored especially for this population.  And evidence suggests that they're actually more successful than secular weight loss programs.  Is this because of the built-in support group?  Is it the intense guilt and shame factor?  Who knows?  Hopefully it will help these people to develop reasons to love and value themselves, outside of and in addition to the love god and Jesus have for them.

Things I Lurve: Veronica M

Whenever I need a new dress for a special event, a hot date, or just to spoil myself, I generally pop over to Veronica M. Most of their designs are in heavy, wrinkle resistant fabrics that travel really well. I've literally crammed a Veronica M dress in the bottom of a backpack and pulled it out a day later, completely wearable. Veronica M's fabrics also drape beautifully and her designs work really well on curvy women. I find her taste in prints to be hit-and-miss, but she knocks it out of the park often enough to keep me coming back. Best of all, prices are generally reasonable. Non-sale items don't run much higher than $100, and I recently picked up an adorable shift dress from the sale rack for $5, which garnered numerous compliments during my fabulous New York weekend.

Veronica M
7122 Beverly Blvd.
and
8512 W. 3rd Street
and
410 Broadway in Santa Monica
and
30 W. Colorado Blvd. in Pasadena
and
13019 Ventura Blvd. in Studio City

A fun little diversion. And you just might learn something.

If you haven't checked out The Straight Dope, you absolutely should.  Columnist Cecil Adams answers questions from the incisive to the asinine.  Some examples:

What's going on when your ears pop?

Why aren't porn actors charged with prostitution?

How would the U.S. military fight a zombie army?

Coulp sheep replace the lawn mower?

Where do bugs go when it starts to rain?

Alexander McQueen

Every once in a while, I see something so beautiful and so bizarre that I'm completely at a loss for words. Alexander McQueen's fall collection did that to me this year, which is why it's taken me days to figure out how to do this post. To me, McQueen's collection is an exquisite commentary on the melding of decadence and decay that has permeated world culture for decades, with the decay finally roiling its way to the surface. In McQueen's collection, you see looks that are exquisite from afar, but leave you with the distinct impression that something is wrong. It's not just the overblown, harshly drawn mouth on the model - when you look up close, you see that her hat is made of aluminum cans or bubble wrap. You see that her face is swathed in plastic wrap. You see that this fantasically beautiful look contains an element that is disturbing and revolting. Most of the collection had this visceral impact on me, and I wish I could show you every single look.

Of course, maybe I'm taking it way too seriously and it's just meant to be a giant spectacle or bratty joke, but for me this was a case of art and historical circumstances melding in a way that left me thinking about it for days.