Speaking of being fruitful and multiplying...

I've been disturbed recently by what I perceive as radical antifeminist undercurrents in our culture. Antifeminist books like "The Surrendered Wife" are gaining a toehold in the collective consciousness, and reality shows featuring human overbreeding set against put-upon breadwinning husbands and housewife drudges are becoming increasingly popular. Take for instance, "Jon and Kate Plus 8," "18 Kids and Counting," and "Kids by the Dozen." The freak show aspect of these programs is undeniable. Kate presents us with a frank discussion of the revoltingly expansive slack pouch of her formerly overpregnant stomach (now tightened up with donated plastic surgery, thank you very much).

Watching the parents on these shows marshalling their kindermobs through simple tasks from breakfast to bathing to park outings provokes a blend of pity, awe and horror in me, not unlike what I feel when confronted with terrible congenital physical abnormalities.

Sideshow aspect aside, what these families often don't mention is that most of them are radical fundamentalist Christians who believe they are acceding to god's will by whelping litters of children. One of the moms on "Kids by the Dozen" referred to a gift of hand-me-down clothes as a token of appreciation from god for obeying him and raising so many of his warriors. That's right - his "warriors."

Radical fundamentalist Christians belonging to the "Quiverful" movement believe that Christian couples should engage in no family planning whatsoever, but should instead submit themselves to having as many children as god sees fit. Among the reasons for this is the notion that the more Christians they can raise, the more they can put into positions of power, where they can shape the policies that effect the lives of everyone in this country. In other words, they want a theocracy, and they will create as many new radicals as they can in the effort.

So before you dismiss these superbreeders with a self satisfied chuckle and change the channel, consider the fact that they think they're raising cultural warriors, and the people they're raised to fight against may be you.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/189763?from=rss

Losing weight - with Jesus!

I was once told by a Mormon man that there's a serious problem in their church with obesity in women, especially older, unmarried women.  Part of the problem arises from the intense emphasis the church places on marriage.  In a Mormon wedding, the covenant doesn't last "til death do you part," but "for time and eternity."  I don't think it's going too far to say that devout Mormon women grow up believing that the sole purpose of their life on this earth is to get married in a temple wedding and raise a family.  Compound this with the fact that, as in most religions, there are more devout Mormon women than devout Mormon men and you've got a problem.  There's a population of older, unmarried Mormon women who feel like they've essentially failed at their life's purpose.

These older single ladies can't have extramarital sex, can't smoke, can't drink, can't indulge in recreational drug use (although the rate of prescription anti-depressant use in Utah is among the highest in the nation), but they can indulge in food, and they often do.  Mormon culture is permeated by good cooks and good food, especially sweets.  It places an emphasis on clean living, but it also places an emphasis on baking.  I think this concept is captured by a speech I once witnessed at a Mormon rehearsal dinner.  One of the female family members gave the young couple a Kitchenaid mixer and explained how "a mixer is a fixer" for all the problems of the family, then basically went on to explain how each problem could be solved by the appropriate food.  Kid comes home from school upset?  Bake cookies.  Husband stressed out?  Bake a pie.

I was also raised in the "food is love" tradition, so I get it.  I believe nourishing yourself, occasionally indulging yourself, and most importantly, forgiving yourself for that indulgence, is an essential aspect of self love.  I get how a depressed woman who felt like she'd missed out on the most fulfilling part of life would turn to seven layer bars and rocky road brownies.  But without moderation, and without the self-forgiveness, I can see how you'd have a massive backlog of toxic guilt.  And it's not just the Mormon church.  Extrapolate this trend out to any religious organization that emphasizes marriage and restricts pleasure and you've got a lot of sad fat single people.

How do you reach these people?  Do you tell them that being thin and healthy is a pleasure in and of itself that they deserve to enjoy?  Nope.  You tell them they need to get thin for Jesus.  Programs like Weigh Down, Thin for Him and What Would Jesus Eat are tailored especially for this population.  And evidence suggests that they're actually more successful than secular weight loss programs.  Is this because of the built-in support group?  Is it the intense guilt and shame factor?  Who knows?  Hopefully it will help these people to develop reasons to love and value themselves, outside of and in addition to the love god and Jesus have for them.

Dear Cardinal Levanda,

You believe in virgin birth and resurrection from the dead.
You believe a rambling, violent book that promotes sexism, racism, homophobia, slavery and profound injustice, and was written by desert tribesmen thousands of years ago, is the word of god.
You believe a capricious puppetmaster policeman in the sky personally supervises your every action and listens to your every prayer, despite the fact that if such a person actually existed, he would probably have better things to do.
You traipse around wearing man dresses and silly party hats.
And you think atheists are absurd?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29484902/?543

Furthermore, I don't think most atheists would go so far as to say that evolution proves there is no god. It simply proves that the god you would have us believe in, a god who lovingly crafted every single animal from scratch and loaded them two by two onto a giant boat, does not exist. But go ahead and say whatever gets you headlines. Obfuscation, after all, has always been your lifeblood.

Lurve,

Lalee

I know what my niece is getting for her fourth birthday.

http://www.armorofgodpjs.com/

Just kidding, Emilee. I would never do that to you.

Love,

Aunt Wally

Patron Saint of Atheists

Saint Otteran (or Oran) was a monk who lived on the tiny, beautiful Scottish island of Iona, a sacred isle which became a burial place for Scottish and Viking rulers. When Saint Colomba was exiled from Ireland in 563, he founded a monastery on Iona with several companions, one of whom was Saint Otteran.

Legend has it that Saint Colomba's attempts to build a chapel on Iona were thwarted as the building was myseriously destroyed every night. A voice told Saint Colomba that the chapel could not be completed until a man was buried alive in the foundation. Obliging soul that he was, Saint Otteran volunteered for the task and was buried alive so that the chapel could be finished.

Some time later, Saint Otteran, whom all had supposed to be long dead, pushed his head up out of the floor and informed the congregation that contrary to popular belief, there actually was neither a heaven nor a hell. Saint Colomba, aghast at this impertinent revelation, pushed Saint Otteran back into the ground and had him buried more securely beneath the chapel, where he remains to this day.

Postscript

There's a self-styled "young Medium" on Blogspot who refers to herself as The Gilded Butterfly and blogs about her otherwordly communications with Saint Otteran, which focus on topics such as the song of earth and the complexity of oneness. These missives are a little touchy-feely for a 6th century monk, I must say. But still. It's entertaining in a "you've got to be kidding me" kind of way.